At this very moment as i type my heartfelt words, i really doubt my own capabilities and intelligence. I start to wonder if it is because I’m studying something that i don’t understand and that is why I’m having so much difficulty in doing projects or is it because I just take too little effort in whatever I do. When that became an obstacle to me, i start to scold and blame myself for being dumb and retarded and lazy because it just strike my mind that it could be just because I don’t put in effort. Honestly, at this point in time i hate myself to the extreme maximum and feel that I’m just trash to this society and my group.
I really want to be someone who can really be good at something and not someone who cannot give ideas and can only say “uhm… uhm” to everything others say. There are many people out there who can do way much better than me even though they are bad at something and i realize that it is because they are hardworking and they are very willing to learn. If they can then it means that I can too and i just got to find out the problem that exist within and change the way I do things to rectify the situation now sot that I can still excel in whatever i do.
I can do it but it is just the way that I’m doing that is not working. I don’t want to leave a life being an idiot or a dumbass in my class or in the groups that I’m working in. I hate this feeling and I’m going to learn from this experience and work even harder!! I want to change people’s impression of me being an slacker and a incapable worker, but i will start with myself by changing the way that I am doing things!!
I’m going to put in extra effort from now on and give to my very best in whatever i do and compete to challenge my limits!! If there is a will, there is a way!:D
Signing off,
MIAOVIN:D
